Never Growing
by ZXZLazyZXZ
Summary: In an alternate universe where Mario's world merges with the real life world. Anxiety teenage Bowser sneaks into Peach's party in a attempt to win her interested in him, with the help from his gang; Kamek, Wario, and Waluigi. Will he outclassed his nemesis Mario? (Age swap story/ uncensored language)
1. Dutch Uncle And Party Invitations

"I cannot believe vou got suspended for a veek for peeping the ladies changing room!" Ludwig said in disgust, with his strong german accent. "Out of all the antics vou gotten vourself into, this has to be the worst!"

"I didn't peep! I'm not a pervert!" Bowser said in defense from the false accusation. "And why do you care? Your not my dad!"

"I may not be vour biological father, but I'm the one who puts a roof over vour head and vour food on the damn table! And if vou were not being a peeping tom, vhat vere vou doing then?"

"I was trying to stop Kamek from -"

"I THOUGHT I TOLD VOU TO STAY AVAY FROM KAMEK!"

"Are you going to let me finish?"

"I don't have to, I've already know enough to have an idea on vhat vou and Kamek vere doing! It's despicable!"

"Dammit, Uncle Ludwig! You always shut me down whenever I mention Kamek!"

"He's a bad influence on vou anyvays."

"Like you and your late Saturday night drunk pass outs?"

"Vhat vas that?"

"Nothing, sir."

The long waking from home was so boring, Bowser had to open his mouth. "Why are we walking home?"

"I don't know maybe it's because a certain someone took the minivan for a joyride." And with that the rest of the walk continue to stay silence once they got to their mansion.

"Hey, kiddo! How was your day." Lemmy greated the young teen.

"Terrible!" Bowser exclaimed as he walked up the stairs to his room. Iggy, who happened to be on the stairs was working on a new project for work.

"Humanity's first artificial maid-bot! You may be small now, but once I find out you finally work, I'll make you 4'11" height and duplicate all of your functions-." His enthusiasm faded when his possible iconic invention sample was crushed by the anxiety teenage Bowser.

"Oops." Bowser said in a unsympathetic tone. "I didn't see it. Maybe next time you should work your projects in the basement. We have that for a reason whackjob."

Iggy hold in his urge to strangle the little ungrateful brat, until he heard Bowser's door slam, followed by Ludwig's dreadful shouting. The 45 year old scientist stormed to the dining room to vent his frustrations with the teen koopa to his brothers.

"That damn kid is the reason why I started to find multiple gray hairs in my twenties! My fucking twenties! That brat literally robbed me from my youth! Why the hell did you agree to take in that selfish vermin in, as always n infant for christ sake! After all the sacrifices we done for this boy, he treats us like we're his slaves!"

"Whoa! Slow down, Ig. I haven't seen you rant angrily this much, since fidget spinners started to become popular." The second oldest sibling attempt to calm down his tall, grayed hair brother.

"Sometimes I ask myself the exact same question every day vhenever he gets anxiety," the eldest brother poured himself a bottle of wine. "That kid vill be the death of me."

"Here's an idea, kick him out when he graduates! No when he turns eighteen! That way you'll get rid of him faster! It's not like he'll graduate anyway."

"Slow down on the wine, big bro. Doctor Phillips, wants you to reduce your alcohol consumption. You're not getting any younger." Lemmy discourage Ludwig from alcoholism.

"Iggy, it vill be impossible to allow myself to kick Bowser out."

"Why?"

"Because I took care of him ever since our baby brother abandoned him. And he's like the son I've never had. Then again, I don't have kids of my own."

"Wow that's strangely heartwarming. Are you ill?" Iggy asked in concern. He gasp. "Are you dying from liver cancer?"

"Shut it, grandpa!" Ludwig said, as he and Lemmy laugh.

"Oh I get it. It's ironic how I have a receiving hairline, gray hair, I get lack of sleep, and I don't take care of my skin, therefore making me look older - despite the fact I'm the middle child. And my two older brothers are attractive dilfs, despite the fact you guy don't have kids of your own." He ends all with a long frustrated sigh.

"It's just a joke, Igneous." Said Lemmy.

"Well sorry for being self conscious about my appearance! Wow. Never thought in my many years as a scientist I would ever say that."

"Anyway offtopic. I find it ironic how this half a century bottle of red wine is nearly- excuse me - it is older than me. In a odd vay, this man is the real and true dilf!" Ludwig joke as he and his brother's were fake laughing at his bad dad joke. At the same time, he was carefully pouring the wine back.

"On the topic of alcohol beverages, did you the punk who lives next door?"

"Kamek?"

"Ugh! Don't say his name."

" I heard he was band from England after being caught driving under the influence during spring break of last year."

"And vhy do I care if that delinquent is banned from re-entertaining another country?"

"So you can invest on that lock to better secure your alcohol, brother." Lemmy joked as his brother scuff.

* * *

The anxiety teenager slammed his door so loudly, that Ludwig yelled at him. Bowser laid on his stomach on his king-size bed and looked through social media on his IPhone X. He went to his crush's twitter, he is the first out of her followers to like all of Peach Toadstool's post, which isn't creepy at all, in his mind. He became heartbroken when the new foreign exchange students Mario Mario and Luigi Mario **(yes, that is Mario's actual last name look it up)** from Rome, Italy moved to New York and attended his high school, his princess and Mario hit it off the first day. Bowser is just glad the Italians will only be here for the school year and will have to fly back to Rome in June, and he'll have Peach all to himself.

"Peachy is having a secret party in her mansion in Queens, New York!" Bowser gasp. "That's not very far from where I am." _I bet that stupid Italian Mario and his annoying freshman brother Luigi will be at the party!_ The redhead koopa thought sadly _. But, I'm the only other koopa, besides that old german and man-child, who gets up early to see my sweetheart walk to school with her friend Daisy- who I'm pretty sure is hook on testosterone. Seriously! That chick has abnormal upper body strength that would make Roy jealous! I got it! All I have to do is walk to her mansion an hour early before the party so in that way I would chat my way to her heart, so hopefully she will ditch Mario! Ludwig did say a way through a woman's heart was music, if you can't play an instrument or use your vocals, and if not, you are pretty much useless and should drink your sorrows away. Damn that was dark stuff!_

Bowser just got a notification on Tumblr from Morton's blog. _Of course Star-Head would start a blog. Since everyone will drop dead after hours and hours of him talking about one thing and going off topic to rant about another thing._ The young teen was impressed by his uncle's large following, which is mostly made up of Tumblrinas and people who want to kill time. Bowser read the first paragraph which talked about Lemmy's talented entertainment service and how to contacted him. The second paragraph talked about his invitation to Peach's party.

 _What? How come Star-Head was invited to Peachy's party and I didn't receive and invitation from her? Maybe she forgot? God, I hope she forgot, or ran out of paper. Uncle Morton is only invited so he could brag about how cool Peach's party was, since he's so popular on Tumblr. Right?_

Bowser then restive a Snapchat video message from Keamk.

"Yo, Bower! I got an invitation to Peach's party! Did you get invited? Call or text me back." Kamek showed the invitation and end the video with him vaping into the camera.

 _God Dammit! Why is everyone but me invited to my Peachy's party! It's not fair._

Bowser then starts to text Kamek.

 **You: No, I didn't get invited**

 **Kamek: That sucks**

 **Wario: Ha! What a loser!**

 **You: Wario, what the hell r u doing in our private conversation?**

 **You: Oh wait...**

 **Waluigi: Ur texting in our group chat**

 **Kamek: I think he already notice that**

Bowser leaves the group chat to privately text Kamk.

 **You: That was awkward...**

 **Kamek: Ur grounded r u?**

 **You: Yep. I'm surprised Ludwig forgot to take my phone.**

 **Kamek: Just be lucky he didn't forget**

 **Kamek: Anyway, I can get u invited to Toadstool's party.**

 **You: Really? THANK YOU**

 **You: I own u one**

 **Kamek: Damn right u do. And to add a bonus, Wario and I will cockblock Mario, so u could have ur chance with the Princess of Queens, New York.**

 **You: I think I owe u 2 favors now!**

 **Kamek: Just one. Besides my plan is 10x better than what u r planning.**

 **You: What makes u say that?**

 **Kamek: Ur her stalker! She would never let u in her mansion to begin with!**

 **You: Fuck you**

 **Kamek: Just get ur ass in Goomba's Pizzeria, before I change my mind. U have one hour to get here.**


	2. Can You Kindly Fuck Off?

At Mariana's Mall two high school age girls are stopping near the water fountain, after they've just finished watching the newest purge movie.

"See, I told you skipping P.E. and study hall wouldn't kill you? I don't think no one really noticed we ditched school early." Kammy, the tall leathered eighteen year old, said reassuring her younger friend.

"I just don't want my parents to find out, they're really strict. I don't wanna lose my after school privages for a month, just to see a movie that's nearly identical to it previous storylines, but with a different cast." Said Clawdia anxiously. "I still can't believe the ticket guy allow me in."

"Lucky, for you that you are friends with a legal adult."

"You know our brains are not fully developed until the age of twenty-five." Kammy gave this annoyed look to her geeky friend. "I-I'm sorry. Forgot I'm not in one of my AP classes. Heh."

"Right, by the way why do you stay after school all the time?"

"After being homeschooled up until middle school, I really don't know anyone else who would enjoy my presents."

"That's depressing."

"I know you're only hanging out with just out of pity. You don't have to if you don't want to. I'm pretty much a boring person."

"That's not true!" She lies. "I actually want to get to know you. What's it like being homeschooled anyways?"

"It's nothing special, I was mostly taught by my mean german grandfather. He would always yelled at me when I don't know the answer."

"That's harsh."

"Well, he's dead now. So I don't have to feel self-conscious about my intellect."

"Not to be rude, but when did he die?"

"When I started to talk about going to public school with my parents, it was very convinte. But I still have moments where I wish he was here."

"Awww."

"So, I could rub my high GPA in his oldass sexist face."

"There's a side of you I've never seen."

"I tenet to be self aware at the heat of the moment."

"That explains why you were perfectly calm when Ludwig screamed in you face about messing up your key notes."

"I want to say was, how I'm surprised he still have his job, since he reek of alcohol. Just like Opa. And considering he claims to work independently in the music industry, but speeds five days a week getting underpaid to teach high school students about music."

"Damn, your roast game is on point!"

"Thanks, I guess."

"Hey, wanna go to see what the latest trash Hot Topic is selling?"

"Sure. I bet we might run into Waluigi, or Yoshitora and his hooded friend."

* * *

Outside of Goomba's Pizzeria, which is connected with Mariana's Mall from its exterior design. We see a trio of of high school aged boys Wario, who is currently taking a puff of his cigarette. Kamek, who is fidgeting with his vaper inside his multi pocket backpack. And Waluigi, who is sitting in the sidewalk and covering his large nose from inhaling second hand smoke.

"Would you mind doing that on the other side of the mall? You know I have problems with my asthma and my mom will be pissed, if I came home smelling like cancer sticks again."

Wario bends down to one knee on Waluigi's level and inhales is his cigarette as much as he could. "Why bother to hangout with us, asthma boy?" He said through his teeth, as he let out second hand smoke in the tall emo boy's face.

"Y-you, ass-hole!" Waluigi shouted in between coughs. "I'll get you for this!" Waluigi took out his black inhaler with a skull design.

"Yeah, why do you hangout with us, knowing that we smoke?" Kamek ask, leaning against the no smoking sign on the wall.

"Because, my step-dad is super religious and thinks kids my age who are into this style of fashion, or who enjoy music in general are supporting Satan's plans for world domination."

"You gotta love paranoid Protestants. They have an active imagination."

"But not as much as politicians!" Wario and Kamek end it with a high five.

"Or three year olds!" Waluigi attempts to add on their slogan.

"You just ruined it."Kamek said in disappointment.

"Whatever," The lanky teenager said, as he starts to get up. "I'm going to see if they are selling something new in Hot Topic." He entered the Pizzeria and exited out through the center mall.

Once their whiny friend left a short baby-faced eighth grader with an oversized mushroom hat exited out of the restaurant to speak with the big kids. "Hello, gentleman," he spoke in a squeaky voice.

"Did we tell you, you must be this high," Wario raised his hand up to his chest. "To hang out with us? Unless you are a chick, to which you are not."

"What do you want, Toad?"

"I- my uncle wanted me to inform you guys that this is a family friendly restaurant! He would be pleased if you smoke elsewhere or buy something." The nervous kid adds on, "And that, this is the final warning he's giving to you before you guys are blacklisted in this establishment."

"Kamek?"

"Since I told Bowser we will be waiting for him, might as well order something to eat till he get here."

"And if he doesn't?"

"He knows the rules."

"Fine." Wario puts out his cigarette, "I'm starving anyway."

"Perfect! Welcome to Gupa-Gumba's-" Toad open the door for the two new customers as he song the restaurant's jingle. But before he could finish, he was interrupted by a goth Yoshi on a nearby table, while he was about to serve an elderly couple.

"It's Goomba's Pizzeria, you imbecile! You don't even know the name, of your family's restaurant."

"But….but….it's my first day." Toad said, trying to fight the urge to cry, as he ran into the staff room.

A short overweight man with an oversized mushroom hat, waddles next to his young waiter with piercings. "Yoshitarta, that this the fourth staff member you made cry today - and my nephew no less! And if you dare shout to my customers or other employees, this will be your last day wearing that ridiculous mushroom hat."

"I could care less," Yoshi muttered.

"What was that?"

He sighs. "Nothing, Sir."

"That's what I thought."

Yoshi continue to sever the disturbed old couple as if nothing happened, while his boss went to comfort his nephew in the staff room. At the same Kamek and Wario found a table near a window, while browsing the menu.

"That was interesting." Kamek spoke.

"I'm lost for words right now." Wario said.

* * *

Before Waluigi entered Hot Topic, he stop outside of the store to inhale his inhaler. "Was that worth it? Yes it was" he said speaking to himself. When he entered the store he browsed for new suspenders, chokers, watches, and a new phone case.

He picked up a Jack Skellington watch, heard two familiar voices from school. When turn his head from the shelf he saw Kammy Wright and Clawdia Krämer checking the suspender designs. At first he going to approach them and talk about their interest about the shop. But the moment he heard what can from Clawdia Krämer's mouth stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I can't even! Who would even buy these!"

"They look super tacky and dorky!"

"Who would even have the time to create this trash?"

"Poor starving childern from China." Waluigi said, stepping out of the shelf to reveal himself shamelessly. "I notice I didn't see you in P.E. today. Did you ditch school?"

"No, I had lab." Clawdia lied.

"Oh really, because I also didn't see you when I walked past your study hall class."

"Please don't tell my parents." Clawdia gulped as her heart the beating in terror.

"He doesn't have the guts! Besides who would even believe an emo, who bitches about his first world problems?"

"I will not tolerate this insults from you, Wright. I'll get you for that." Waluigi declared. "Besides, What are you doing here anyways?"

"We when to see the new Purge movie."

"How was it?"

"The same and boring."

"I'm not surprised. Was skipping school worth it, Krämer?"

"I've heard that Ms. Star is going on a date with the mean old German teacher." Kammy firedback, "I guess your plan went against you."

Waluigi reded with humiliation, stomps out of the store.

"Hopefully that's the last that we will ever see him."

"No way! They have Boku No Hero Academia!" Clawdia practically scream in delight as she pick up a t-shirt, jumping up and down.

"Jesus! Not so loud everyone is judging-" Kammy gasp in astonishment. "Limited Edition of Teen Wolf merch!"

"You were saying?" Clawdia smirks as she hands her a tee of Stiles Stilinski.


End file.
